I have been out of the corporate world now for 7 months running my little Life & Colour Coaching studio & I have loved every minute. It has not necessarily been all plain sailing & I am not necessarily smiling brightly every single day BUT I am happy, I am grateful & I am reveling in every experience, every challenge & every connection.
I think that God gives us what we need to deal with in stages. He doesn’t necessarily overload us, he gives things to us as he deems we are able to navigate. He hands us challenges as we have capacity. I needed some of the tools I had built up over the years in corporate to find my feet in my new little venture & now that I am completely at ease with all my daily personal key performance indicators, he is challenging me on some of the areas of my personality that are possibly disproportionate or too pronounced due to years of being challenged to conform within the cut throat corporate retail environment. Those aspects of me have served me well over the years of competing at corporate level & contributed to the tenacious demeanor required to survive that space. They served me well but they are not necessarily serving me anymore.
I had this realisation dawn on me after a few days of feeling a bit low & an enlightening session with a current client regarding her own personal journey. I believe wholeheartedly that this new world of mine is not only for the benefit of the clients, but also for my own benefit. I learn things from clients every day & I am so grateful for the mirroring that happens. It allows me to become the best version of myself; as they are becoming the best version of themselves & WHAT could be better than that?
My soul is saying that it is time to look at SELF LOVE as a concept. Time to face that scary little monster that I think we all fight to some degree or another at multiple stages in our lives. Asking questions like:
- “Am I good enough?”
- “Can I do better?”
- “Do people like me?”
- “Am I talented?”
- “Am I needed?”
- “Am I valued by those around me?”
- “Do I fit in?”
- “Do I need to change?”
So I have been missioning about to figure out what exactly self love means & whether I have done enough of it. There is not necessarily one conclusive answer, but there are aspects that need to be considered. I would like to share these with you.
Self love, like happiness, is not a destination. It is all in the journey & it is ongoing. Its like a dance which one learns the steps of, or a language that builds the vocabulary for. You must practice it consistently to remain agile, fluent & experienced in the art. It is a foundation for SO many things, so many experiences in your life… & without it, there are guaranteed to be sticky areas.
I have uncovered 17 truths on self love below that resonate with me & I hope will do the same for you. WHY 17 you ask? In the Colour therapy bottle system I use, the number 17 represents the WISH. It is about being able to use your intuition & knowledge of yourself to help create a reality that best serves you. Since I am creating a reality about SELF LOVE, I thought 17 would be a fitting number to focus towards.
1. A choice. A choice we make that is sometimes hard to do. When you look into the world, what is the one thing you do not see in front of your eyes? YOU. So choosing yourself sometimes becomes difficult. We are also taught through experience what makes other people happy, as they tell us what they need from us. It is not always easy for us to tell other people what we need from them or what makes us happy. It is knowing what you need to be safe, feel loved, feel worthy, feel secure. I choose me, do you choose you?
2. It is about being able to speak your truth. Speaking what is true for your heart. Communicating creatively & with love & not feeling afraid to let people know how things make you feel. Communicate creatively, communicate your truth, communicate with love, communicate proactively, not always reactively, Communicate at all times, communicate consistently.
3. It is about realising that you cannot pour from an empty jug. Giving yourself the rest, ‘nummy’ nutrition, exercise, love & comfort to be your best you. Feeding your body & soul so that it is able to perform at its optimum. Get enough sleep (yes please!!!), take enough time off, meditate, pray, do yoga, run… find what it is that fills in to you & do enough of that.
4. It is about dressing your body comfortably & well. Ensuring that you are protected from the elements & that you feel stylish & suitably attired to your own liking. To not feel pressured to confirm to fashion or be someone that you are not, in order to fit in, score brownie points or gain likes. Coming out of the fashion industry, there have been some interesting perspective shifts here.
5. It is about learning to love who you are & what you stand for & being comfortable in every inch of your skin. Its about knowing that you are happy with the sound of your own breathing & your own company before going out into the world to search for someone to complement you. It is also about remaining comfortable with who you are after 20 years together.
6. Its about self acceptance & self recognition. Self confidence & learning to self soothe. You come into the world alone, you will leave the world alone… you are your 1 constant (& God of course)… so be happy with you! Self regulation is important….
7. It is about knowing that what you love to do is important if it makes your soul sing. About making time for those things that add value to your life & add to who you are. Bringing a smile to your own face, your own heart, your own being. Spending time with you, doing what you love & just breathing in your own breath & listening to your own heart speak. Nurturing your inner child.
8. Its about embracing who you are on the outside & inside. YES, by all means build on yourself if you feel that is needed, buy that lipstick, that new pair of heels, that fantastic skin product & let it add to your love for yourself. Buy & read that self help book that pushes you to be more mindful, its all part of expanding your heart for you.
9. It is about accepting the light & the dark moments. Knowing that every decision, even the ones you deem as ‘bad’ are part of the process. Its about learning from that process & embracing the lessons that you came to teach & that others have come to teach you.
10. It is about Faith. About trusting that we are on track towards our highest & greatest good. About knowing that even if we stumble, we are able to get up again & create a new path forward. Knowing that we have the power to co-create our future & that we have choices. Trusting ourselves to make choices that are good, from which we can learn, grow & expand. It is about knowing that through TRUST, you are able to be guided by God as well.
11. It is about cultivating an attitude of gratitude & a culture of positivity. Its about embracing every moment & not blaming ourselves or our parents, or other people for where we find ourselves. Its about GROWTH that allows us to truly let go & let GOD. About knowing that we can change our narrative & change our story.
12. Its about LOVE. Loving the world & what God created. Loving people & trying to see the good within every person we encounter. Its about spreading love, teaching it, reflecting it & being it. It is definitely about Loving yourself unconditionally. Finding the things you love about you & acknowledging the value you add, the role you play, the person you have been created as & have co created.
13. It is about dreaming BIG. Not allowing the world to judge you & tell you that it is NOT achievable. Not allowing your fears to distract you from pursuing those dreams. Believing that your hearts desire is part of the plan & that God would want you to do what makes you heart happy. Knowing that you set your limitations & you have the ability to make your dream a reality. Allowing yourself the opportunity to do so.
14. It is about taking responsibility for the reality that you create for yourself to operate in. Making emotional, mental, physical, financial, spiritual choices that resonate with you & then taking ownership of those decisions. Letting your intuition & self awareness guide you, feeding into you & bringing you balance.
15. It is about setting boundaries for yourself & ensuring that you are protecting your soul. Loving yourself enough to courageously self reflect & heed your truth. It is about being wary of the labels that people may create for you & not letting those define you. It is about allowing your conscience & Gods plan for your life to guide you to make changes where changes are needed. It is about nurturing relationships that build you & being able to walk away from those that break you.
16. It is about being who you are. Knowing that you do not have to ask for permission to be you. Knowing that you have a role to play, a contribution to make & that you are an integral part of a bigger picture & a bigger plan.
17. Its about accepting that even if you are not yet doing the above, every day is an opportunity to start a new habit, take up a new practice or routine & create a specific focus around embracing, accepting & loving YOU!
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