A leap into the unknown
In September of 2018, I got the sense that I would be embarking on a new journey. I start to talk about this in the blog A new Vision. It was 2 weeks before I was due to take a huge step in my faith & I understood that everything that I had done up to that point in my life would begin to shift again. I sensed it coming. I felt it approaching.
I knew that this new journey would begin to shift my life again, as it had done in 2016 when I decided that it might be time to walk away from a 15 year career that I had been building in the fashion industry. You see in 2016, I knew that I was starting to change & that my tenure in the corporate fashion world was nearly complete. I could feel the nagging in my spirit for something more, something bigger, something more significant. I knew that it would be scary. That I was walking away from a life I had been building for more than a decade. That I had been training & practising & climbing a corporate ladder to lead to a position of power & influence. That I had sacrificed sooooo much to be where I now found myself. That I had worked many crappy positions & dealt with much abuse. that I had cried many tears of frustration & felt worthless & useless many times. That I had fought, as a young girl of colour to prove my worth & that I had reached the top on my hard work, sleepless nights & merit. With the title, the salary, the flexibility, the respect. A team of very talented individuals reporting to me. Meetings with the big names in the industry. The option to travel abroad & bring new concepts to life. I knew that I would be walking away from that life to a degree BUT I also sensed that something more profound was out there beckoning to me. And so I leapt….
…and in 2017 I opened the doors to Evolution Inc. I had NO IDEA what I was doing. I had my training & I had very little experience. I had the theory & my Coaching qualification. I was a Results coach & a colour therapist & I had my own story to go on. That was litterally all I had in my hand when I threw open the doors of Evolution Inc. in January 2017.
Quick detour! Romans 5: 1-5 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
And as I started to explore the world outside of corporate fashion, I started to see that there was such a need for people to see themselves as valuable, as knowledgable & as insanely purposeful. I started to feel stirrings within me that I had not felt in ages doing my old job. I realised that I had carried anxiety within my during my 15 year career that I no longer needed to carry with me. I knew that I had done what I needed to do & I now needed to trust that God would do what He promised me He would. To take care of me. To allow me to really become who & what He had created me to be. To remove layers & masks & strongholds that I thought I needed to survive but that were actually holding me back. I started to see that I had EVEN MORE to offer. I started to sense that everything that I had questioned about myself was actually the real me scratching at the surface. The parts of me that DIDNT FIT in the cut throat corporate fashion world were the parts of my spirit that was wrestling with living in the world. The parts of me that were remnants of heaven. the parts of me that carried mystery & miracles & truth.
The awakening began & as I embraced the unknown & gave up control…. the NEW was found inside me & I began to be unveiled. It was amazing. To see myself come alive. To see Gods hand in everything. To see Him be tangible. To witness Him bring people through the door & see Him transform lives using me & what would become my niche process being the catalyst. I felt free. Finally finally FREE.
The Vine gets pruned
In August 2018 I got baptised. My baptism was the culmination of a long journey of commitment to my place in Gods plans and the claiming of my crown as a daughter of the King for my lifetime. My inauguration into warriorship for the Creator and the taking up of the mantle of the ministry of Vision, intention and purpose filled lives that God wants us all to live. I made a public commitment to walk alongside people as they discover Gods truth for their lives, their phenomenal God design, their gifts, talents and abilities that will see them too fulfilling their own ministries that God has birthed THEM for! Through the Spirit I found my destiny and through that same Spirit… others will come to uncover, reconnect and walk in their own truth. I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me. My gentle & unassuming coaching practice had become a place of hope. A place where people come to discover themselves & to be everything that they were created to be.
With any new journey comes the process of letting go. The letting go of everything that I held that no longer served me or Gods plans for my life. The letting go of any emotions that would deter me & distract me. The loosening of any grip of the ways of the world on my life & my heart & my spirit. I was waging war against the darkness & with my commitment… many souls would find themselves in the new too. How can the darkness stand for that? And so, as I took up my warriorship, my sword, my Divine assignment… the darkness waged war with me. I found myself fighting. I was fighting for everything that I was & for everything that I would become.
My life felt like it was beginning to unravel & I found myself staring into the dark tunnel of depression as I fought once again with everything that I had expected & what God needed me to do. You see God had made me all sorts of promises prior to the craziness starting & so I had promises to hold onto. The same way He had done in 2016. He had already spoken to me about some of the struggles that I would come to face & I knew that I would survive & overcome. I knew because He had told me. I just had to hold onto my faith & through His strength… I would survive. It was a very trying time.
Birthing the NEW
And now, nearly 9 months after making a new commitment to living a life of purpose to bring Heaven to earth, I start to feel the sunlight filtering through. Please DON’T get me wrong. I am extremely blessed. Physically, spiritually, materially…. I have worked long & hard for many many years to build a notable life. I didn’t think that this life would be maintained after I walked away from my Head of Merchandise position & the salary that kept me in designer heels & pretty dresses. I didn’t think that I would be able to have happiness & be satisfied with not having my nails done monthly or having spare cash to just go & do my hair every 5 minutes BUT God showed me MORE. More value. More depth. More peace. More comfort. More Love. More grace.
Coming out of the shock of my sisters death is a frightening place to be. You lose a part of yourself when you mourn someone you love. When that death is a tragedy that is completely unexpected, even more so. When it feels like it might have been able to be prevented, even more so. When it feels like its going to cost you your sanity, even more so. When it feels like the pain might never subside, even more so.
God is good
And so I find myself now in the birthing pains of the NEW. What is the NEW you ask? I dont know!!!! Just like I didn’t know in 2016 or at the start of 2017 when I threw open the doors & my heart to Evolution Inc. When I shed my fear & my insecurity & I allowed God to guide me. When I stepped out in faith & heard the tiny voice inside me grow & grow into audible instructions from my spirit. Gods spirit. I didn’t know then & I don’t know now but I have my basic Evolution Inc. structure that I am working with to support this process of growth & I will continue to keep my eyes fixed. And I HOPE. That Romans 8:28 hope. Theres a fantastic HOPE cycle sermon about this from some of my absolute fave pastors. It continues to add to my hope because that IS SIMPLY HOW GOD OPERATES!
For I know the plans He has for me are great. Plans to give me hope & a future. Plans to prosper me. Plans for others to find Him through me. Plans for people to find themselves! Plans for purpose & destiny & legacy. Plans for growth & joy & evolution. Plans for family & friends & love. Plans for relationships & commitment & harvest. Plans for balance & beauty & fruitfulness. Plans for the restoration of what was written so long ago. Im ready to be found again & again in the NEW. Are you?
See you on the flip side