In this day & age, ‘THE HUSTLE’ is a thing! We are inundated with information, tips, tricks & advice on what to do, how to look, how to act, how to live ‘that life’ to the point of absolute exhaustion! There are multitudes of free classes & masterclasses on how to. How to be disciplined, Live a fabulous life, start a business, how to run a business, how to gain more followers, increase your traction, get more engagement, become an influencer, be more happy, do better make up & live a busy, stretched, masked & insta fabulous best life ever!
The real deal about LIFE
The journey of life is really however, not that simple! It is not a paper cutout exercise & we are defs not getting to where we need to be by copying one another or the best influencer with the mostest followers, outfits or fabulous contouring techniques! Lifes journey is one that takes you up & down as you go through the process of learning, growing, expanding, being restored, breaking habits, finding truth, unmasking & recreating. It is NOT a destination. You do not go through a set amount of challenging situations & then suddenly arrive.You don’t increase your following on social media & then simply HAVE everything you have ever dreamed about! You don’t get that new opportunity & then fly with eagles wings. You DO NOT make a successful, thriving business or career & then simply sail off into the sunset with a sparkling drink in hand! You definitely DON’T find the love of your life & then live happily ever after. That simply is not how it works. Growth takes commitment & rewards come slowly over time. If things were simpler, like in the beginning, we would all be living our truth, being our authentic selves & walking in Gods plan for our lives without hiding our talents & who we truly are inside…. But we are not of the world & therefor, it’s not always that simple.
As humans, we are constantly transitioning & even when we are momentarily, deliriously happily standing still, we are still actively immersed in the lives of those around us. Our family, loved ones, friends & acquaintances… when they are growing guess what we are doing! We are also growing! All the while sharing in their growth & learning & imparting our learnings for the benefit of those who are in the process. Growing is hard work too! A plant or animal that is growing needs certain things to thrive! We are basically house plants with emotions!
So in this busy busy world, where we are constantly bombarded with thousands of messages, marketing & memes… its important to stay grounded, stay focussed & stay aware & most importantly stay true to who we are & the difference we want to make in this world.
Awareness & your gifts
Awareness is a beautiful & sometimes scary thing if the tools that we have been given are not used correctly. We are all blessed with varying spiritual gifts & strengths. Some of us have awareness, others have empathy, some have extreme wisdom, others have foresight, some have tenacity, others the ability to love, to comfort, to impart. Others have the ability to motivate.
1 Corinthians 12:8-11 The Spirit gives to one the gift of the word of wisdom.To another, the same Spirit gives the gift of the word of revelation knowledge.And to another, the same Spirit gives the gift of faith. And to another, the same Spirit gives gifts of healing. And to another the power to work miracles. And to another the gift of prophecy. And to another the gift to discern what the Spirit is speaking. And to another the gift of speaking different kinds of tongues. And to another the gift of interpretation of tongues. Remember, it is the same Holy Spirit who distributes, activates, and operates these different gifts as he chooses for each believer.
Irrespective of what you have been given as your gifting, whether you understand it & use it for the purpose it was intended for, often determines how you feel about it. Your gifting can feel like a curse if its not recognised, regulated & used correctly. This could result in burnout, feeling drained, feeling stretched. This is a reality that comes knocking for a multitude of reasons, not only how we use our abilities. If we keep exerting energy, overstepping boundaries, feeling things & not processing, being busy & not replenishing… we can bleed ourselves dry & as you know…. One cannot pour from an empty cup. I once heard a fantastic analogy that spoke about pouring from the overflow of the cup, pouring from the saucer. What I love about this is that you are ensuring that your cup is filled & you are pouring from the overflow. It’s a great reminder in my opinion because I think that many people do this.
Whether operating from their gifting or not, some people give & give, breaking their own boundaries & bleeding themselves dry. As people we have the tendency to get caught in the stories we tell ourselves or that other people tell us about ourselves. We stretch ourselves & tap ourselves dry & then we are of no use to anyone, especially the ones we love. Let us not even get started about the expectation that comes from the give, give, giving…. When you feel that you are constantly sacrificing, chances are you will be expecting something in return or that you might feel the world owes you. I hear some of you saying no… but truth is sometimes the over giving drains the life out of you! Have you ever felt like you are being bled dry?
So many people that I see for coaching suffer from varying degrees of this phenomenon of feeling drained which is why I decided to write about this today. To be able to give people a list of some of the things that clients come to talk about when they book into a programme with me! I hope that this gives you some insight & that maybe if you are dealing with one, 2 or more of these… that you take a time out & give yourself some much deserved & much needed attention, love & space to heal. Also so that if this speaks to you, you might recognise & regulate before getting to the stage of needing to medicate or treat the physical outcomes which are varied. I have also listed some of the causes so that we might begin as a society to deal with what we are doing to ourselves & each other. It has also been a good reflective space for me to get into while examining our own healing since my sisters death in December 2018.
The soul, mind & body feed off each other & are completely interconnected. You cannot live a healthy lifestyle but not process things through your mind. You cannot process things through your mind & not be spiritually fit. You cannot do all of the above but not eat healthily & stay active. Your heart also needs to be taken care of. In the bible God speaks about all these aspects so surely they are all important? We are holistic beings & so each part is vital to the optimum functioning of us as holistic creatures. Just as you have gifts, you have limiting beliefs, triggers, ways in which you mask to protect yourself, lies you believe, things you believe you need & put pressure onto yourself to attain, criteria you set for yourself, expectations you create, distractions you give into. I could quote a multitude of bible verses below for your reference but because not everyone believes in the bible, I will break some of this down for you here below too.
Romans 12: 2 Stop imitating the ideals and opinions of the culture around you, but be inwardly transformed by the Holy Spirit through a total reformation of how you think. This will empower you to discern God’s will as you live a beautiful life, satisfying and perfect in his eyes.
Luke 12: 22 Jesus taught his disciples, saying, “Listen to me. Never let anxiety enter your hearts. Never worry about any of your needs, such as food or clothing. 2For your life is infinitely more than just food or the clothing you wear.
Philippians 4: Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice.
Let your gentleness be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
I have decided to break this thesis down into digestible bits. That way I am giving you pieces & you can reflect on each area at your leisure. I’ve broken it down into parts & will post these weekly so that you are not overwhelmed by all the information.
10 signs that you’re catching some ‘draining’ vibes
- I am Tired AF (fatigue & resultant symptoms)
- I can’t get no sleep (insomnia)
- Dis-ease (physical manifestation)
- Tear jerker (sensitivity; emotional fragility; instability
- Emotional dislocation (detachment; isolation; abandonment )
- Short fuse syndrome (irritability, anger, temper tantrums; defensiveness)
- Passion on pause (lack of drive & motivation)
- Fake it till you feel it (masking & eroding authenticity)
- Visually impaired (lack of vision)
- The knock on effect (spiraling & chaos creation)
Today we deal with 2 of the above mentioned symptoms & their causes as a starting point.
- I am Tired AF (fatigue & resultant symptoms)
I have heard this many times in studio.
‘I am tired, exhausted & I have no idea why!’
‘I have just been sooooo tired lately!’
‘I feel finished!’
These are some of the things clients tell me coming into a connection. Sometimes as humans we get too little sleep & the result is that we are tired. Tiredness however is not the same as fatigue. Tiredness can be remedied with better bedtime routines, more time dedicated to sleep & better decisions around snacking at bedtime.
Fatigue is not as simple to resolve & just catching some much needed zzzz’s doesn’t fix it. Drinking copious amounts of coffee & increasing your natural or artificial sugar intake is just not going to crack it either. Yes there are ways to improve it but long term we need to make changes to fix the fatigue.
Fatigue feels heavy on your body. You can feel that your strength is affected & often more than one aspect of your body function is adversely affected by this dreaded F word! You feel me? Or rather… you feel yourself?
Fatigue can be caused by many things. A combination of things may also be the cause. Over focus on the mind & not heeding your intuition is a major one that comes up in connections with clients. We get LOST in our own thoughts. We go round and round in circles in our heads & this puts a major drain on our brains energy reserves! This takes me into another area that leads off of fatigue.
- I can’t get no sleep! (insomnia)
Although Fatigue is the outcome, it starts with the mind, leading to insomnia & then results in fatigue. Both my husband and I have had varying bouts of insomnia over this last few months. It can vary from not being able to go to sleep at night (me) to waking up mid-night & being unable to get back down (him) to rolling around all night long with your mind running at a million miles per minute (so many that I know of). This is really the manifestation of mental, emotional & possibly in some cases being spiritually worn down. You spend days feeling tired & at bedtime you either can’t get to it, can’t maintain it or can’t go there at all! What the heck? Right?
If you’re tired… which you ARE…. then surely you just close your eyes & you’re out? Right? Right!?
Well NO…because MIND chatter (thoughts)! Whether consciously or subconsciously driven, mind chatter (thoughts) can be affected by mental, emotional, physical or spiritual challenges. SOOOOOO insomnia & fatigue will be your buddies & will slowly but surely wear you down. Yet God asks us not be let our minds be troubled by trivial things like worry!
Luke 12: 25“Does worry add anything to your life? Can it add one more year, or even one day? So if worrying adds nothing, but actually subtracts from your life, why would you worry about God’s care of you?
Yet, we all worry! My insomnia over this last period has been due to not setting appropriate boundaries & not being clear about where I am at in my own identity journey. My sisters death affected me in a number of ways & I found myself very confused about certain aspects of my life that felt like they were much more clear before. Once I had re-established this & created a basic plan of how to get back on track as well as got into a better evening routine, I was able to put this monster to bed. #punintended
Some other things that affect people’s energy levels & sleep patterns are the following:
- Not speaking your truth
- Forcing situations that are not part of your purpose
- Getting stuck in things not meant for you
- Split focus
- Worrying about things that you have no control over
Luckily there are ways you can support yourself! Normally when going through the process of coaching, we have a look at what some of the triggers are that are causing the lack of sleep. Asking questions like:
- What are you thinking about & not finding clarity or solutions for during the day?
- What would you say is keeping you up at night?
- What causes feelings of anxiety?
- What areas of your life causes you stress?
- What are the areas of your life that you feel causes you to feel stretched & overextended?
- What areas of your life do you struggle with?
- Do you feel that you are always able to be yourself?
- Do you feel that you are always able to say how you feel?
- Which areas of your life do you feel unable to be your true self in?
- What parts of your life make you feel like you do not belong?
Once you have clarity about which areas are draining your energy levels or preventing your mind from working efficiently, you can then set a Vision around how you would like to change that. There are processes to support you with the above.
Better bedtime routines also assist with creating optimal sleep conditions for your brain. Things like:
- Having a specific bedside routine & soft comfy pj’s helps.
- Light stretching before bedtime sometimes assists to burn some energy to promote better sleep. A great
- A lavender bath or warm shower can relax the mind & muscles for better sleep.
- A light rub down with essential oils can also assist in signalling wind down to your mind.
- Avoid scrolling & being on your phone before bedtime.
- Charge your phone in another room to avoid unnecessary light & temptation to scroll.
- Reading paperback books & journaling helps your brain to slow down.
- Make a list of what you want to achieve the next day & set an intention.
- Avoid snacking & coffee at bedtime to avoid a spike in your sugar levels.
- Read the bible & pray before you finally close your eyes.
Luke 12: 6-7 “What is the value of your soul to God? Could your worth be defined by an amount of money? God doesn’t abandon or forget even the small sparrow he has made. How then could he forget or abandon you? What about the seemingly minor issues of your life? Do they matter to God? Of course they do! So you never need to worry, for you are more valuable to God than anything else in this world.
We are not meant to feel so burdened that we are breaking ourselves down physically but in this world, with the amount of feelings that people hide, this becomes a reality that we face. I believe that even just small steps towards self care make a difference.
Next week, we will tackle another area. I hope that today’s post has been helpful for you & that you have found some of these tips useful. If you have any ideas, tips or tricks to share, please leave a comment down below. We would LOVE to hear from you. The key to overcoming things in this world is to share your story. If Jesus could share his wounds as a way for his followers to recognise Him after His death, WHY do we feel the need to hide our wounds, our struggles & our insecurities. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!
Much love till next week,